The average Kiwi has the same aversion to being probed by a journo as going to the dentist or speaking in public. But unlike the latter phobias, there exists a completely rational basis for this aversion to reporters. Because they really are out to get you.

So Taito Phillip Field has discovered this past month. He has become their plaything - in particular the plaything of the parliamentary press gallery - a group of people generally and genuinely unable to empathise. No parasitic group - well, apart from prostitutes - loathes its host body as much as the press gallery loathes politicians.

As a result, Field is on suspension this Father's Day. A clever suspension it is too because it delivers Labour his vote, but removes his odour. The police have rescued the government with their unilateral decision to investigate the Ingram Report.

The Mangere MP may have accepted money from grateful constituents for work done. There is sufficient evidence to suggest some Samoans see gift-giving as part of their cultural milieu. It explains their crazy practice of church tithing. But none of these things are remotely criminal. There is no allegation of bribery, no information that posits graft.

Clearly, Field's actions are unconventional. Certainly they are irregular in terms of the way parliamentarians run their constituency offices. But it is a significant leap to suggest criminality when no complaint has been laid nor clear evidence advanced.

The real reason for Field's predicament is that the press think him guilty. It is yet another example of the media deciding that someone has not passed their code of public ethics, and then accumulated a mess of irrelevancies to convict him.

It may well transpire that Taito Phillip Field is the Donna Awatere Huata of the Labour party. But you could not comfortably reach that conclusion on the basis of the media evidence thus far.

And on Donna - cosmetic surgery must recruit this stunning 57-year-old as its pin-up girl. Tripping out of Hastings District Court last week, after having various taxation charges annulled, the shameless blonde hussy was worth every Pipi cheque. If only to show what money can buy - even if it was the taxpayers'. Personally I consider my contribution to have been well spent.

But I digress. You do that with Donna. Because today still dawns Father's Day for Field and the guy deserves this day to relax. His suspension will mean that he gets today, tomorrow, next week and next month to work on everything from his golf game to his backhand. He could even tile a roof or two -just for something to do. In which respect, getting paid $120,000-plus to do nothing hardly strikes me as punishment. The lucky, lucky bastard.

As for the government, it is not yet out of the woods. The Field affair has been nowhere near as damning as the Audit Office revelation that Labour's election pledge card of 2004 was illegal. Of course it was. It blatantly requisitioned more than $400,000 of taxpayers' money for the most obvious of party propaganda.

Instead of criticising auditor-general Kevin Brady, or threatening to pass retrospective legislation to validate its cheekiness, Labour should just cough up and move on. It rightly chastised the National Party in 2004 for effectively sanctioning the Exclusive Brethren's sneaky crusade - and probably won a close election as a consequence.

Not unnaturally, that is not Don Brash's take. Some backroom boffin has strayed across an old Al Gore speech and now National's leader is complaining that Labour "stole" the last election. Although using Don's logic, every political party is guilty. Each appropriated millions of dollars of public monies for their prejudiced election year propaganda - their air-fares, taxis, staffers, mailing budgets, newspaper advertisements and toll calls all paid for by you and me.

The media also scored another "victory" last week with the resignation of outstanding North Shore primary school principal Tim Jenkinson. During routine maintenance, a few pornographic images were discovered on his office computer. The kind of images viewed by as many as 300 police officers recently. "Boobs on Bikes" stuff.

Again, there was no suggestion of criminality: an error of judgement at worst. But days of headlines about the "porn principal" had their effect. It was another example of the media's sickening propensity to judge and execute in a single swoop.

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